Saturday, November 8, 2008

"The Art of Friendship: A Woman's Tale of Love Lost and Found"

Dedicated to Monica and Janica.

Prologue:
This account is based on an actual fictitious event. Names have not been changed.

Chapter 1:
"Jaylee, both my good friends have moved. Will you be my new best friend?" asked Jeanette.
"Yes," replied Jaylee.

Chapter 2:
The two new best friends take a picture to commemorate that special moment in their lives.



A7



Chapter 3:

Monica and Janica fume in Colorado and Utah, respectively.

Chapter 4:
It's their fault they moved.

Epilogue:
And so ends the sordid tale of how Monica and Janica lost their friend.


Friday, November 7, 2008

A Good Day

Emma learned to ride a bike

Asher peed in the potty

Ate some yummy chili

Bart is no longer a houseguest

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

There once was a man from Nantucket....

We have a mouse in our house (sounds like the start of a children's poem).

It's a teeny tiny little mouse,
Who probably has a little spouse.
This teeny mouse is a louse,
For it's eating up my drywall.

This teeny mouse is very smart,
It deserves a name; how about Bart?
"Bart!" I yell, and as quick as a dart,
Bart scampers back into my drywall.

Now, I'm assuming Bart, you have large brood,
You're probably out scavenging for food.
You better be careful because I'm not in the mood,
To see and hear you chewing up my drywall.

Hey little Bart, you're in for a treat!
Peanut Butter! Oh my! It can't be beat!
Now hurry up your little feet!
And please ignore the apparatus underneath the peanut butter, next to the drywall.

I tried to warn you; I tried to be humane,
But Bart, your droppings are such a pain!
I clean them up, but it's all in vain,
Because you just keep pooping next to my drywall!

Bart, I'm sorry, the time has come,
You must die die die and something else that rhymes with come!
And then another great sentence that rhymes with come,
Geez Bart! Come on! What do you expect? You're living in my drywall!

You're gross! You're yucky! You probably have rabies!
Okay, maybe not rabies, but maybe...... scabies?
And you're popping out a horde of little pinkie babies,
and I can't have you and your filthy family living in my drywall!

So Bart, please eat the food; it will all be over soon,
And while you're dying, I'll sing you a tune.
As we sit together underneath the moon,
I'll serenade you this sweet song:

Die mouse, die die die!
Poor little mouse, where's PETA to save you now?
You think you can come into my house and set up shop?
Time to meet your maker!
I hope you burn!

Did you like that song, Bart? Hey, I think I see a light!
Go to it Bart! Give up the fight!
Oh, it's pretty Bart! So nice and bright!
What a tender moment we're sharing next to my drywall.

I promise Bart, I'll take care of your litter,
Stop yelling at me Bart! Now's not the time to be bitter!
Oh Bart! You're not breathing!

psst, hey Clint, can you fix this drywall so none of Bart's rat babies can get out?





Have I missed the grace period to post pictures of my kids in their Halloween costumes?

Halloween

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Denver

Geez, October was busy. It's worrisome since it only gets worse as we enter the Holiday Season (Holiday Season - such an overused term, most likely coined by ad execs to promote spending. Due to the current state of our economy (yet another overused term), I think this year the new slogan for retailers forecasting dismal sales will need to be "You'll Get Lucky If You Buy Your Wife This Lovely Necklace").

Moving on to more uplifting prose.

The family and I attended a wedding in Denver last week. It was beautiful. Who wants to move there with me? I could write an entire post on the trees. Their trees are colorful eye candy. The beauty still amazes me every time I visit. Don't you agree that of all the cities in the United States, Phoenix is by far the ugliest?

The wedding was gorgeous. I love, but am not able to attend many, non-LDS weddings. It was a 3-day party. And eclectic to boot.

Friday night, we were scheduled to attend a dress rehearsal. I've never understood the importance of dress rehearsals; isn't it just a matter of walking from point A to point B? However, after witnessing it, it was proven to be necessary. The wedding party consisted of many bodies, 2 of which were children, so making sure it wasn't an awkward mess on the big day was essential. Of you who know Clint and I best, you may snicker, but we were late to the dress rehearsal by 25 minutes. It was required that Emma attend since she was a flower girl, and for 25 minutes, all wedding party bodies, parents, photographers, coordinators, wives and husbands of wedding party bodies, and an especially frustrated mother of the bride waited outdoors, after the sun had gone down, for our procrastinating selves to show up. We were lazily sitting around Monica's house, debating different methods of applying butter to toast, and had lost track of the time. It was an uncomfortable first few minutes, many jokes were made at our expense, but people got over it.

At the end of the evening, all involved with the wedding were invited to dinner, which was held at this house...

Judy's House


...we dined on tofu, salmon, edamame, and miso soup, while being serenaded by a duet of guitar and flute, played by a hippie husband and wife. Can you believe there are loads of houses like this in Denver? Problem is, you need loads of cash to purchase them. One can dream.



Saturday, the Big Day, was again spent lazily laying around Monica's house discussing dirt bikes, and again time escaped us, causing a mad dash out the door (what is wrong with us?). Emma had her hair professionally styled by this diverse woman...

Emma Hair 1



...and eventually she turned into a miniature version of a woman (they grow up so fast).


Emma alone



Then it was off to the ceremony (which started 20 minutes late, but I swear it was not on account of me (or Clint)).

It was located at Cheesman Park in downtown Denver, and it was spectacular. This tiny, ill-taken picture doesn't do it justice. While the guests waited, they were serenaded by the bagpiper in the lower right hand corner, who also performed the processional music.



Wedding site



This is a better picture of the pavilion, for which I can not take credit for. It captures the beauty of the structure and it's surroundings.

Pavilion



Yet another terrible picture taken by moi. The ceremony was held in the afternoon, underneath a huppah, and interestingly enough was officiated by a rabbi and a preacher.


Hoopa



Afterwards, we attempted a nice family portrait. I think Emma's the star of the picture since she so closely resembles a wedding cake.


The family



This is Asher's GQ money shot.


GQ add 1



While we were waiting around for actual professional pictures to be taken, Emma twirled while Asher and Clint inspected the water grate; the highlight of Asher's weekend.


Grate



The reception was held at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. An awesome thing about having a reception at a Museum is the all inclusive access to the exhibits. When else would I be able to take a sultry picture wooing a sea lion?

posing




There's also no other time Emma can study ancient pottery manufactured by the People of the Amazon while wearing a dress that looks like a cake.


museum



We dined on gourmet Mexican food, complete with all the churros and sopapillas I could cram into my mouth. A Reggae band provided the music, and Emma danced more than anyone in attendance.

band



emma dance 1


emma dance



She promised this little boy that she'd look him up the next time she's in Denver.


boy 1



Why are pictures of sleeping kids so irresistible? At the end of the evening, Asher was spent.

Asher sleeping



Sunday morning, we attended a brunch at a Jewish Deli and dined on bagels, lox, and latkes. Wow, I'm noticing the bulk of this post is about what I ate. I enjoy eating more than is healthy, and I have to admit it was nice to go away for the weekend and not spend a dime on food. All in all, it was a very culturally diverse and enjoyable weekend.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Only because I like you Pam......

Tags give me anxiety because instead of posting at leisure, I feel like I only have a certain amount of time to complete it before it's too late. Plus, my brain is too wordy to just type some quick answer, but I threw this together as quick as I could and posted it so I could get it off my "to blog" list.

8 TV shows that I watch:

1. Lost
2. The Office
3. Mad Men
4. Yo Gabba Gabba
5. Grey's Anatomy
6. SNL
7. Survivor
8. Project Runway




8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Restaurant Mexico
2. Harlow's
3. Claim Jumper
4. I'm out of ideas.
5. I like a variety of places...
6. so it's difficult to pinpoint a favorite.
7. I REALLY like Restaurant Mexico...
8. it's located in Tempe on Mill if you're ever in the area.




8 Things that Happened Yesterday:
1. Went to Costco. Spent $150 and walked out with 4 things (or it just feels like that sometimes).
2.Went to Kid to Kid for a pair of dressy white shoes Emma needs for a wedding. I refuse to pay full price for a pair of shoes she'll never wear again (white shoes on little girls never stay white). I wasn't successful.
3. Doctor's appointment. It was my first time seeing a doctor (aside for my OB) in over 7 years.
4. Art committee meeting at Emma's school.
5. Dress fitting for Emma's flower girl dress.
6. Shopped (by myself-yeah!) and found the perfect black dress for this weekend.
7. Gorged on hummus and pretzel sticks and gained 2 lbs.
8. Made a monthly pilgrimage to my holy Mecca - the Tempe Public Library


8 Things I'm looking forward to:
1. Heading to Denver this weekend for a family wedding.
2. A new kitchen. It's in the works, but on hold until the economic outlook of America isn't so bleak.
3. A potty trained Asher.
4. Super Creationism Day.
5. A new President and Cabinet.
6. A girly weekend in CA.
7. Naptime.
8. Dinner and a movie tonight with Clint.




8 Things on my wish list
1. Economic stability in the financial sector!!!!!
2. A dark horse, third party, write-in candidate winning the election. Preferably of the independent variety.
3. For the 2nd number on the scale to suddenly be one numerical value lower. I'm fine with the other two numbers.
4. For "Grey's have more fun" to be the new slogan. I swear I should own stock in Aveda hair color.
5. To be the successor to Diane Rehm so I can meet interesting people and ask them all sorts of questions. I'd also like to change the cheesy opening jingle.
6. For Asher to sleep through the night. Yes, that's right, he STILL WAKES UP!
7. For my next/probably last child to be healthy and plump.
8. Whiter teeth.




It's fitting that the first real post of this ladies blog be a tag (it's such a blogish thing to do) since she claims she has nothing to write about. To all the others, you're off the hook.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Come and be artsy with me

Hello friendly ones. Lately, my time has been consumed with creating fine art for our Super Saturday (I wish we could think of a better name for this. It's kinds cheesy. Maybe something like "Splendid Creationism" Day.) I'm opening up our Splendid Creationism Day to friends/family outside my ward. The projects we're doing are listed below. Please email or comment if there are any you are interested in. It's on November 15th. My goal this year was to create pieces that I would actually use and keep. I really dig these items, and I was glad to hear today from other ladies that they dug them too.




Family Calendar 1

This calendar is $12. You will need to provide your own 16x20 frame and glass. I purchased mine at Michaels for $15 using my coupon. You can probably find a cheaper one at a thrift shop. The vinyl is on the backside of the glass, so it won't be bothered when cleaning.




Glass Block Nativity

This Nativity Scene is $10 per block.




Stocking Board

This is a great item for those without a mantle. This picture below shows what it looks like with the stockings hung.



BOARD-The_Stockings_Were_Hung

You can have up to 5 large hooks on the front of the board, and 5 smaller hooks on the underside. Each board is $18, each large hook is $1.50, and each smaller hook is $0.25.





DSC03465

Each magnet is $5.50.




DSC03464

Each magnet is $5.00.




Advent Calendar

This is one of my favorite projects. It's an advent countdown for Christmas. There is a family activity on the back of each stocking to complete for the 24 days preceding Christmas, like make cookies, drive around town and look for Christmas lights, paint each others toenails, etc. I'll provide you with a list of activities, and as December gets closer, you'll include whichever ones you can complete in accordance with your schedule and other plans you have. Each set is $5. You need to provide your own scrapbook paper.





Birthday

Spooky

Brown and Pink

Thankful

christmas

Halloween

Each banner is $13.