Wednesday, April 27, 2011

about Easter

A comparative look between my Passover Seder and the Internet's Passover Seder

A respectable Jewish family's Seder pic lifted from Wikipedia

Elijah's cup is the understated silver goblet downstage


My Grandmother's Seder

Seder Table


Martha Stewart's adaptation of a Seder place setting


My Grandmother's adaptation of a Seder place setting


What Mrs. Stewart does with her Matzo crackers


What we do with ours


Emma showcasing a few of the 10 plagues - Frogs, Lice, Locusts...


and Darkness


10 minutes prior to Seder


10 minutes into Seder


11 minutes prior to Seder


11 minutes into Seder


and after all that Seder business was over, we Draney's celebrated Christ's death via Zombie Booth (the most disturbing app ever)


Monday, April 25, 2011

about customer service

Are there any among you who are as irritated as I with Hobby Lobby's method of ringing up merchandise? Hand entering prices is antiquated, and it makes for very sloppy receipts since I have to pencil all over them to remind myself what I purchased.  SCRAPBOOK ITEM is vague. They hand count every item - there is no computer keeping a tally.  I recently purchased 10 of the same item, and while I was at the cashier, we both took turns counting them. Twice I came up with the number 10, and twice he came up with the number 11. He stared at me, willing me to break and agree with his 11.
I broke and said "fine, ring it up for 11."

As most of my purchases go, days later I decided to return my 10/11 items. Lo and behold, the returns cashier counted 10 items, and proceeded to credit me for only 10 items.

Breezy Jaylee - "Oh, you only credited me for 10 items. The receipt says that I purchased 11 items, but that's only because one of your cashier's counted incorrectly."

Cashier - "Hmm, well, I can only credit you for the items that you're returning, which are 10."

Ironic Jaylee - "Yes, but when the cashier was ringing them up, he and I took turns counting and I kept counting 10 and he kept counting 11, and we ultimately decided to go with his count. "

Cashier - "I understand, but since you're only returning 10 items, I can only credit you for 10 items."

Flabbergasted Jaylee - "Why would I by 11 items? Doesn't that seem like a weird number? I know I only took 10 items from your store that day, and I was incorrectly charged for an additional item."

At this point she calls the manager over and explains the situation.

Manager - "We can't credit you for an item that we don't have at the time of return."

Furious Jaylee - "Look, I shop at Hobby Lobby all the time, more than I do your competitors. I understand your policy, but it was YOUR cashier's mistake. Can you please credit me for that additional item, and chalk it up to good customer service?"

The managers turns to the cashier and says "Just give her the credit."

I was returning scrapbook paper on sale for $.05 each.  Cha ching!  It's the principle people. 

Friday, April 15, 2011

about real important stuff

True things -

The older-ly ladies at LAFitness have NO qualms with the nude female form. While in the buff, Myrtle and Gertrude had a lengthy conversation about embroidery floss.

After 20 minutes or so, your spinach and blueberry smoothie will cease to look bluish/purple and will revert to it's default color of greenish/brown.


My Iphone is much more user friendly than Clint's Droid Incredible.

I'm fascinated with Utah's culture, but would not, could not, ever live there, unless supposing I were elected Emperor of Utah.

If I were elected Emperor of Utah, I would ban the word "Anthro".  It's Anthroplogie, people.  And stop shopping there so much.  That sweater you bought yesterday could have paid for 1 child's cleft palate surgery in Africa.

There's nothing hotter than a man in an apron holding a pile of raw meat.


When people start a sentence with "I don't mean to brag" I think, in fact, they do.

I don't know how to say no. I can barely type it. That's why I don't answer my phone.

Doritos and Tomatoes.

Tomato and Dorito Sandwich

Being inquisitive isn't considered nosy when you're Diane Rehm.

I frequently confuse the words Entomology and Etymology.

The rebel in the white shirt must have the darnedest time finding tattoo-showcasing apparel in his town of Cedar City, Utah. Cruella on his right stole his jeans from an 11 year old girl.


Passive aggressive behavior: Blech.

It's annoying when people start most of their sentences with "I heard on NPR the other day....". I never do that.

I heard on NPR the other day that Glenn was leaving Fox. Poor Glenn. No more hour long sessions standing in front of a whiteboard, sketching out a complicated diagram of the world's demise which inevitably sends me running to Costco for a 20 lb bag of rice.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

about the saucer breast

A friend recently came across the silliest nursing cover in existence.


Does "nursing cover" come to mind? All I can see (or not see since it's camouflaged, yuk yuk) is "flying saucer".

Depending on surrounding company, I may or may not choose to use a cover while I'm nursing.  I seem to have become a bit more brazen, so come my 6th kid, I won't even bother wearing a shirt. A blanket has sufficed when needed, so I've found that all the new en vogue "hooter hiders" are overkill. 

It's intended purpose, in case the picture's point didn't come across, is to be used as follows -

silly nursing cover

The website touts it's a modern bonnet, but how can it be modern when I found it's Arizona version while thrifting at an antique store?

Arizona Nursing Cover

In case you'd like to grab one of these puppies for yourself, here's the website. I promise I won't laugh too hard.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

about Asher-loo

Asher was recently in and out of a room where The 5th Element was viewing. Later, he was inspired to channel Leeloo, but in a butched up manner. Leeloo was certainly well represented, but somehow using mom's elastic hairbands curbed the desired butchness that even a sword and batman mask couldn't rectify.


Butched up Leeloo