Today Emma had her first dental appointment. Understand that it's been a nagging thought for the past 117 weeks that she needs to visit the dentist. I'm not sure what kept me from making the appointment, especially since we've been paying for her to have dental insurance. Had someone actually knocked on my door on the 1st and 15th of every month and demanded cash from my wallet, I would have felt more of an urge to take advantage of the service, but my dental insurance provider has a nifty way of taking their payment straight from my paycheck. Out of site, out of mind.

Her appointment was for 2:15, which was swell because Clint's off work at 1:30. And when I say he's off at 1:30, I mean he's never off at 1:30, and it drives me crazy. Since he works in the construction industry, he follows the hours of the sun and the heat, so at the hottest time of the summer, he's at work at 5am, with a quitting time of 1:30pm. It's a fantastic schedule because, in theory, after I roll out of bed at 8am, ship Emma off to school, and get home, he's already completed half his day, and I only have 5 more hours to go until I can pawn Asher off on Clint while I curl my eyelashes and practice my moonwalk. Unfortunately, the aforementioned scenario is not my reality. Since Clint is salaried and important, he stays later. His start time may change, but he doesn't seem to take advantage of leaving earlier, which means during the summer, he ends up working longer days than in the winter. So, my moonwalk is on the back burner, and my eyelashes remain droopy. But, if Clint's assigned a commitment by me, he'll take off on time, which he had to today because I was not about to bring Asher with me. Asher would have grabbed the drill to use as a weapon against me while he stuck the suction hose up his nostrils. No, Asher was to stay at home with me while Clint took her. I had reminded Clint about this appointment last night, so when 1:50 rolled around, I expected Clint to tell me he would be turning down our street any minute. Who wants to take a guess where he still was? If you guessed work, you are correct, which right now is located on Higley and the I60. Clint had forgotten. In fairness, I had also forgotten about the appointment, but was lucky enough to have looked at the calendar while I was making plans for the weekend. Panic set in because my dentist office (and I'm sure all are like this) is sooooooo stringent with start times and they charge you $30 if you are a no show to your appointment. I called them and the lady gave me a hard time about being late. I jokingly said that the appointment shouldn't last as long as a typical adult appointment because her teeth were so little. The admin lady wasn't impressed with my reasoning, and continued to give me a hard time about being late, not having enough time for paperwork, etc. So, I told her to go ahead and e-mail me the paperwork and I would fill it out at home, and would hand it to Clint to bring with him. She chuckled and told me e-mail was a no go (when will doctors enter the digital age?) but she could fax it to me. I HATE using our fax machine. It's temperamental and grouchy, and it's an outdated method of communication. I begrudgingly told her to fax it, while I ran from this room to that room to rewire our entire phone system, dig a trench for a new phone line, climb up our telephone pole to solder some pieces together, load the fax on the dolly, and transport it to a functioning outlet (we're under construction in our house, so it's a bit unorganized). The phone rings, I press the button, and nothing comes. My panic rises a decibel, and I call again and ask for her to please, oh, please fax it again. The phone rings, I press the button, and nothing comes out again. AHHHH!!! I'm getting down to the wire, Clint's almost home, and I can't get the stupid paperwork to print. I call AGAIN and ask her to re-fax it, and while it's ringing for the 3rd time, I notice that the phone wire isn't plugged into the fax machine. With one ring to spare, I quickly snap it into place and I hear the beautiful sound of beeps and printing noises. I grab the first sheet and start filling it out as quick as possible, but I notice the printing doesn't seem to be stopping. I turn around and I see that 10 pages are in que to print. Why does her dentist need 10 pages of information? I rush lickety split to fill out the paperwork, all the while yelling at Emma in the bathroom to keep brushing her teeth (why do we brush our teeth right before we see the dentist? Like it's really going to make a difference. They still stick their torture devices into your gums and yell at you for not flossing enough). Clint comes home, Emma's on her way, and I relax while Asher's sleeping. Not more than 40 minutes goes by and Clint's pulling back up to our house. Emma comes into the house and I ask how it went. She plopped herself down onto the couch and very nonchalantly told me that she didn't want to do it today and that maybe tomorrow she'll want to do it. WHAT!! Clint tells me that she refused to put the x-ray thingamabobs in her mouth and the hygienist threw her arms up in the air after the first sign of refusal. Obviously this lady doesn't have kids. Clint had no chance at convincing Emma to give it a try after hearing that it was okay to stop. I'm considering putting Emma on dessert probation until her next successful appointment. I'm definitely changing dentists. Any recommendations?