Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I Should Own Stock in Behr

My outlet for expression has deviated recently into creating perfect paint lines.


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I hate painting. I hate it because it's so obvious when it's not perfect. I imagine someone sitting in my bathroom relieving themselves, looking at the wall in front of them, and when it's a particularly long visit, they may find themselves trailing their line of vision along the top of the baseboards, up the door frame, around the ceiling, etc., silently taking inventory of all the paint blobs that seeped over their designated space. I hate it because I have no other handy talent I can contribute towards the continuing black hole of home improvement our house requires. I don't trust myself to do anything else, so with clenched teeth and paintbrush in hand, I tape and paint and re-tape and repaint, and my day's mood begins to depend on whether a perfect line emerges after I so gently peel off the tape at a perfect 90 degree angle.


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If you find me laying on the bathroom floor with my eyes gouged out by a paintbrush, make sure you get a good look at my smokin paint edges before you call for the coroner.

4 comments:

Heather said...

well mrs. creativity, come paint mine!

Diana said...

Your lines are beautiful! I was removed from taping and cutting-in duty when we were painting because I was "too slow". We ended up with blobs everywhere that kept me up at night...not that I'm bitter. My dad was a professional painter for a while and says there's a trick to getting perfect lines without tape. I'll get a lesson from him and share.

H said...

Well, this explains where you've been for so long. Off painting edges, eh?! You must have an endless amount of patience to do it over and over to get it perfect. They are fabulous.

You know, I had a friend in high school that said she only poop at home...and at my house. Weird, huh? I wonder why my house. Sorry I used the p word, but back in high school we didn't say "relieve yourself".

Susanne ~ Mike ~ Easton said...

the trick is... after you put your tape down then you take caulking and smear it along the top of the tape...and then it seals it so paint doesnt bleed under the tape...then as soon as your done painting you pull the tape of at an angle!!! i love that someone else is a freak like me!!!