Monday, April 7, 2008

Our Little Slice of Heaven

Before I open the curtains for the world to see the glory that is our backyard, I need to do a little prefacing. This was no small feat. It took YEARS to accomplish. I'm sure our neighbors comment to each other about it. So please, the next time you see Clint, let him know that he's done a fantastic job. As a reminder, here is the front of our house again. In no way does it measure up to the backyard.


We used a lot of leftover material to create our sanctuary. Being green has always been close to our hearts (stop snickering), so I hope you can use some of our tactics to implement in your own design. So, without further ado, I present to you Heaven on Earth.

First up on our tour is a grassy knoll that we created using the left over sod from our front yard renovation. It requires very little water (or none) and no maintenance.


We've got plenty of trees with ample amounts of shade. Seriously, we've got shade oozing out of our ears. My favorite time of day is 3:00 pm in the middle of July. I'll sit underneath that baby and sip my hot chocolate, because let's face it, you can't beat that canopy.


Ooh, you'll love this and beg Clint for the blueprints. This is our rock climbing wall. We used the leftover material from our old sun room. Folks, it was so easy to create this. I even helped a bit. Just a few tappity taps on a 40 year old brick wall, and the thing will practically build itself.


This is our acupuncture pit. What...... you've never heard of an acupuncture pit? You're missing out. Any time I'm under stress, have a headache, want to test if that tetanus shot I got last year was really worth the $20 co-pay, I just roll around and immediately forget what my problems were, am devoid of my headache, and have a great time using my lock jaw to impersonate a monster and scare Emma's classmates.

(if visiting our house, please bring a copy of your child's updated immunization card)


Here's our tree house. Our kids use it to hide in when they need some alone time, or when I'm at my wits end, I'll throw them out there and lock the door.


Notice to all with heart problems: Please look at your own risk!

Here we have our spooooooky forest. Sometimes Asher will be out back, and I will have no idea where he is. And as I'm quite skittish myself, I hate when I have to go in there to look for him.  I requires me to put on a headlamp, lace up my sturdy Merrell hiking shoes, zip up my North Face (it's chilly in the forest), and grab my bug repellent.


Next up is our obstacle course. I think the picture speaks for itself. Nary a man has completed this course and lived to talk about it. Men training for the Iron Man have been known to use this layout.


I'm not sure what this is. I think its scrap from our old bathroom. Geez Clint, clean up after yourself for once. You can't just drop things right where you stand. Get up off you butt and walk it over to the trash!


Here's our sitting area, complete with ergonomical chairs, fresh out of the barrel drinking water, and specialty styrofoam and cardboard stacking blocks to keep the kiddies busy.


And last but not least, this is our aviary. Anywhere from 0 to 1,754 birds visit per day. Every species is represented at our patented state of the art bird feeding device. We've seen pigeons (oooooh), hummingbirds (aaaaaaah), and unidentified bird #3.


I hope you've enjoyed the tour and aren't too jealous. If interested, we rent out the backyard for parties, bar mitzvahs, singles ward dances, company leadership retreats, etc. Please stop by and visit us any time.


Heather said...

sincker snicker, i love your sense of humor

Amanda said...

I got a good laugh out of this. Awesome. Before I saw the pictures I thought you were serious... :)

April said...

I love it! I cannot stop laughing! I so needed this post. Man you were not kidding. I kept thinking, how bad could it be? How much time would it take to clean it up? Looks like Clint needs to activate some more YM and offer up his backyard as a service project. Oh, seriously, the laughing won't stop. Thanks Jaylee!

H said...

Although I had heard you scoff at your backyard I was enthralled by your every word until I found out you were lying to me! I know for a fact that you don't use that accupuncture pit for headaches, you told me you've never had a headache. So, now I know, it's all just your fantasy land. Maybe you can come up with a great enrichment project using those white mind is racing with ideas!

The Turley Times said...

Where did you get all those tires from? And at least those blue barrels actually have water in them. :-)

Monique said...

Jaylee, you crack me up. I could not stop laughing at this one. :)

Darla said...

Wow, your back yard makes my weed farm look really nice.