If furniture could talk...

...I think these chairs would scream.

poor pitiful Emma on her stationary horse

A few years ago, Clint and I took Emma to DisneyWorld. It is hands down the happiest place on earth. I become intensely jealous when someone mentions their upcoming vacation to D-Dub. We were only able to spend 3 days total visiting the parks, which was insanely difficult given there are a total of 4 parks, and each one is about the size of Wichita.



Before leaving, I researched each park like crazy and created spreadsheets designed to help maximize our visit, listing each ride by height restriction, average wait time, proximity, etc.



If we were only able to spend 3 days at 4 parks, I felt I needed to organize and create some sort of schedule to help me capitalize on our lack of time.



However, as I was looking through pictures of our vacation, it appears that I spent a large percentage of my time at the happiest place on earth planning how I was going to squeeze out every last ounce of enjoyment I could have whilst visiting the happiest place on earth.



Are you seeing the pattern? For most of our vacation, I was obsessively checking and cross referencing all of my printed out spreadsheets and maps, and I failed to look up for pictures, parades, singing wooden puppets, etc.



The irony isn't lost on me. By the middle of the second day, I realized my folly, and I found that I could enjoy myself while walking without purpose and living in indecision.



I did, however, meet one goal I set for myself before our trip: I ate in EVERY country at Epcot.

Nuggets for you

In case you want to know how to jimmy rig your icing syringe if you've misplaced the piece that affixes the tip to the tube -




Strapping tape: good for sending packages and pastry decorating.




In case you're on the fence as what to cook for dessert at a dinner party -





Rancid Blackberry Cupcakes: Who knew flour went bad? And I mean it went Ted Bundy bad.





On another note, why must everything I cook for potlucks be some new-fangled recipe and prefaced with "now, this is the first time that I've made this, so I'm not sure how it tastes..."? Why can't I bring a 9x13 glass casserole dish filled with enchiladas made with 7 cans of cream of chicken soup, and feel content with my contribution? Beware you potluck inviters: I will no longer be bringing any dishes that require ingredients that can't be purchased at ghetto Fry's. And Sunflower. And Trader Joe's. And Whole Foods because they have exotic salt. 

When you fail to plan

My contribution: about 4 hours of a Thursday night.









Emma's contribution:

From Fugly to Fab

I think all those blogging "Teach Me Tuesdays" and "Thankful Thursdays" etc. are a bit cheesy. I'm dubbing today the "I ate too many pita chips, nothing good on tv, stupid knee won't bend, cupcake is yelling at me to eat it, already ate a cupcake today, don't need to eat another cupcake, cupcake starts crying, don't want to give cupcake self-esteem complex, eat cupcake, eat salty pita chip to balance out taste-buds, eat more pita chips because you forgot how yummy pita chips are, decide to blog, got nothing to say, post a picture of some version of progress being made in your life albeit this particular progress took place 6 months ago but you don't think anyone would agree that 'eating the last cupcake so you can wash the tupperware it was housed in', or 'eating all the pita chips so you can trash the bag to clear up space in your pantry for more pita chips' could be called progress Wednesday".

How about "Lose you readers Wednesday"?

This chair is part of a set that I found at Qcumberz. I slapped on some oil-based paint and stapled fabric over the existing mess of tacky burlap. It's previous owner was a bit heavy-handed with the sandpaper. They're as uncomfortable to sit in as they look.



Before:




After:





Stay tuned for "Thankful for stretchy underwear Thursday".

I had to sit this one out. Blasted tumor!

There is fun to be had, but you must hurry. Arizona snow is fleeting.

Get started - this took about 8 weeks of preperation

I received a few compliments on my hair this morning while I was at church. I thought I would follow up by giving a tutorial.







I'm no professional on self portraits. I didn't even think it through enough to pull the shower curtain closed.






Step 1 - Grow a tumor in your knee, stand up, see a doctor, and get surgery.

Step 2 - Decide the days of caring about your appearance are officially over until your walking abilities aren't hampered.

Step 3 - Obtain a husband who travels quite a bit.

Step 4 - Wash your hair two days before you plan to wear this hairstyle. Don't blowdry or straighten it. Let its natural frizz do its thing.

Step 5 - Host a friend's birthday get together that same night. Yap for 8 hours straight and finally kick the last 3 remaining women out of your house at 3:00am.

Step 6 - Wake up after little sleep and decide you have no energy or time to take care of the frizz nest sitting atop your head. Put a hat on and wear it all day long, no matter how itchy it starts to get.

Step 7 - Stay up late that night and watch Tess of the Dubervilles, which will take you forever to get through because you have to continuously rewind the DVD since you can't quite understand what they're saying through their heavy English accents (no subtitles were available).

Step 8 - Wake up late the next morning and realize you have no time to wash, blow dry, or straighten your hat-matted, frizz-nested hair.

Step 9 - Bunch your hair up into a funked up bun, bobby pin it in place, and stare in amazement at the ladies who said they liked your hair.

Emma asked me why I was taking pictures of my gray hair. I sat her down for an impromptu lesson on how genetics work. She'll curse my name when she's about 30.