It has been confirmed that an orthopedic surgeon will be slicing my epidermis open sometime around 11am this Thursday. It will start out arthroscopicly, and most likely end with a nice big scar sized to the dimensions of the object he is removing from my leg. I googled my doctor in hopes of finding rave reviews, but found nothing out of the ordinary, except that he donated $1000 to the McCain campaign. It's up to you whether that's a deal breaker or not. Here's hoping that the mystery object he'll be removing from my synovium is a roll of $20s or the long lost twin I absorbed while in utero, complete with hair and teeth.
Thank you to all those that have brought me meals, have told me they will bring me meals, have visited me, have taken the newly minted sunbeam off my hands, have given me movies to watch, have shipped me books from out of state, etc. It's very hard for me to accept help, and even harder to ask for it.
Does anybody have a better explanation I can give to those who ask what triggered my knee difficulties? It currently stands at "I was sitting on the ground at my friends house while watching a pirated version of New Moon, and I stood up". I'd prefer a version that makes me sound heroic rather than moronic.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas Checklist
Cute new boots I'm sure the early Nazareth(ites) would have worn had they had access to a JCPenney - CHECK!
An in-town husband (something all too rare these days), a girl (fairly more common to see than the husband), and a boy (a little too common around here if you catch my drift) - CHECK!
A Jewish blessing complete with Menorah - CHECK!
Presents under the tree - CHECK!
General merriment complete with present opening obstacles, such as being blindfolded...
wearing mittens...
having your hands tied...
or using tongs - CHECK!
A surprise present for the twins...
Ma, it's a CALCULATOR! - CHECK!
more information here:
A swollen knee that has doubled in size over the past two weeks that was thought to be a meniscus tear, then was downgraded to a capsule tear, and is now currently diagnosed as having a piece of errant cartilage that was dislodged after standing two weeks ago (yes I've been dealing with this for two weeks, and yes, all I did was stand up), and will maybe, probably, I don't know, really can't say, require surgery - CHECK!
A thankfulness that 2010 will see me much happier than I was when 2009 ended - CHECK!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving Checklist
Cute new shoes I'm sure the pilgrims would have worn had they had access to a Kohl's - CHECK!
A dish to bring - CHECK!
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/06/the-best-spinach-salad-ever/
An in-town husband - CHECK!
A superhero/clown/lasso wielding cowboy - CHECK!
An 8 year old - CHECK!
Skewed depth perception due to a scratched cornea - CHECK!
An empathetic family - CHECK!
My very own "Mad Eye" Moody eyeball - CHECK!
A thankfulness that by Sunday I will have stopped putting my pants on backwards and running into walls - CHECK!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Grab a pair of pencils and start jammin
Asher's favorite YouTube video -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mR0tzt9XaM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Anybody got a sharp ax I can flash around?
Our stupid, worthless chickens have currently taken a hiatus from laying eggs. For whatever reason, the colder climate has them convinced they're entitled to some sort of sabbatical one gets after earning tenure. Time outs aren't working, nor are my stern looks. However, they have been molting for the past few weeks and have generously left their feathers strewn about the pen. Rather than being mortified by their appearance and hanging their beaks in shame, they prance around and mockingly suggest that I use their feathers to stuff a pillow for my sissy head. I guess laying eggs while exposed to the harsh Arizona climate somehow makes them hard-core and I'm some sort of house-dwelling mamby pants. I've decided to put the food dish on top of their coop. I will very much enjoy watching them flap their useless wings in an attempt to reach their daily rations - a perfect reminder that poultry = pathetic.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
It's as if women's lib never exsisted
As I was driving down Mill Avenue yesterday morning, I came upon a sea of pink-shirted individuals with catchy phrases written across their chestical area:
SAVE THE TATAS!
I KNEAD MY KNOCKERS!
When did this happen? When did it become socially acceptable to refer to your cantaloupes as anything other than breasts? I'm at odds as to whether I think it's a very creative way to peak interest in the safety of my num nums, or a dumbed down solution to raise money in the name of milk jug research. All I know is that badoinkie cancer is serious business.
SAVE THE TATAS!
I KNEAD MY KNOCKERS!
When did this happen? When did it become socially acceptable to refer to your cantaloupes as anything other than breasts? I'm at odds as to whether I think it's a very creative way to peak interest in the safety of my num nums, or a dumbed down solution to raise money in the name of milk jug research. All I know is that badoinkie cancer is serious business.
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